Turned Away Read online

  How mean! She could help me and then we could do the skipping. What’s so important about skipping? She asked me what was so important about some stupid flags? Nothing, I guess, but it shows we care about the countries that are our allies. And we can educate students about our allies each week when we raise the flag and that might get them to help more in the war effort. They can raise money and collect things that are needed. So I told her that but she said I was becoming boring! And dull!

  Sandy wanted to help and so did Hester. I’ll have to get used to Hester talking non-stop, I guess. They will be my two deputies. And Paul also is on the committee as treasurer because we need to be aware of what the ballots will cost and we need to make sure everyone knows the issues. Marvin is going to be the secretary. The flags are expensive, but I checked already with the secretary at Robert H. and she says we can borrow one every week. And then we can make our own eventually, and that will also be a good project.

  April 15

  We spent the entire day organizing the referendum, which is to be held tomorrow. We went to each class, all four of us, and explained the question being asked. Then we left ballots, which say:

  YES, I want to add flags from other countries to the flag ceremony

  or

  NO, I only want the Union Jack.

  Everyone has to circle one or the other.

  April 16

  We won! By a landslide!

  The four of us collected the ballots and counted them (missing boring geography), and every class voted in favour.

  Tomorrow we’ll hoist the first flag, the Czech flag. The school patrols will stand at attention. At Robert H. the cadets all line up but we don’t have cadets here. And Peter will play the salute and the retreat at the end of the day on his trumpet.

  Every day this week, practically, there’ve been pictures in the paper of Winnipeg airmen who have been killed in combat. Mommy wants me to stop reading the paper. She’s threatening to stop getting it. She says I need to behave like a child and have fun. Have fun??

  I remember it wasn’t long ago when I worried that I had too much fun. How can she talk to me like I’m a child? I have two brothers in the war. Should I just pretend it isn’t happening, like Elizabeth? (By the way, she stuck to me like glue all week, never letting me out of her sight and always making me play whatever the girls were up to. When I complained to Mommy, she said, “Why shouldn’t you play? Will not playing make Hitler stop?” Well, I suppose it won’t, but somehow it doesn’t feel right. I did give in to Elizabeth in the end anyway, but I didn’t have any fun! So there!)

  Have I told you, dear diary, that the rivers are all swollen and there’s been some flooding of basements already?

  But something a little funny did happen at dinner. Daddy came home as usual about five and sat down to read the paper. Then his face got all red and he threw the paper down and swore! I’ve never heard him swear before! And Mommy looked at him with an amused sort of look and asked him what was the matter.

  “It’s madness! They’re saying that they are going to let sheep graze on the golf courses! They want to increase wool production.”

  Mommy laughed out loud. Daddy is a championship golfer, but actually so is Mommy, and she has quite a few more trophies than he does. You’d never know it though, from the way he goes on and on about his golf.

  “They’ll keep the grass short and grow wool at the same time,” Mommy said.

  “And get in the way of my shots and make their messes everywhere!” Daddy objected.

  He’s funny. He’s so calm about everything, but not about golf!

  Actually it shows how busy he is — this is the first spring when golf isn’t all we hear about. And Mommy seems to have forgotten about it altogether.

  April 17

  We came in third in the music festival today. Mrs. Foster was disappointed. I think she was hoping for first, but the other classes in our group were really good. It was fun and we got the whole day off school.

  Tomorrow Marcie will meet me downtown. We’re going to see To Be or Not to Be with Jack Benny and Carole Lombard. I wasn’t sure I wanted to go. After all, it’s a comedy and she’s dead. It won’t be funny to see her in all her beauty and to realize we’ll never see her again after this movie. But Marcie just loves her and really wants to go. Typically morbid of her, but I said I’d go. We’ll meet the rest of the TO’s at The Chocolate Shop to plan our next projects and then Mommy wants me home — no sleepovers. She thinks I’m still weak or something. So far, none of the TO’s have caught chicken pox, thank goodness.

  Other big news of the day — the boys in class are going mad with joy because the Toronto Maple Leafs have tied the series with the Red Wings, three all. Big game tomorrow and everyone will be glued to the radio.

  Oh, and I forgot to report about the flag ceremony. It was so exciting and Mr. Joseph said he was very proud of the way the school voted. And he reminded us that in Nazi Germany they can’t have any more elections, but that they did have one just before the war and that was when the Germans elected Hitler. He said that we need to always think carefully about what we vote for and never to take it for granted.

  April 18

  I’m glad Mommy didn’t make me stop reading the newspapers. Today there was a full-page article all about Jews in Canada. And it didn’t say one bad thing! I’m cutting it out and saving it.

  The movie was swell, swell, swell. This group of actors has to outwit the Nazis. It’s not exactly a comedy, more like a comedy and drama mixed together. I got so wrapped up I almost forgot the sadness of Carole Lombard’s death. I ate too much popcorn and ended up in bed with the worst stomach ache. I skipped ballet today because Mommy says I’m still too weak. I’m not weak at all. I’m all back to normal.

  The stomach ache could also have been from the three cups of hot chocolate I had when the TO’s met at The Chocolate Shop. David was mad at me when I told him what I’d done at my school. He said that education was his department. “But you aren’t even at my school!” I objected. That didn’t seem to make him feel better. But Marcie told him he was being silly and that what I had done was excellent and that they should do it at their school, so David said he would try to organize it.

  I told them about the letter I’d written to the prime minister and the response which was probably nothing but some kind of form letter. Marcie reported that she was going to have a tea in two Saturdays and charge for drinks and baking and that we needed to get everyone to bake one thing and donate it. The synagogue will let us host it there. I told her she’d done a wonderful job! And as for David, he has written up an educational pamphlet describing what has happened to the Jews, and he wants to distribute it to all the schools in the city! That’s a pretty high order but we all read it and it’s excellent. I’m pasting it in here.

  Judenrein

  Judenrein means “Clean of Jews” and that is what Hitler and the Nazis are aiming for in Europe. It will happen here, too, should they win. But in the Aryan order it is not only Jews who are at risk. The Aryan model is based on pure blood and if your blood is not pure, for instance if you are Polish, or even black or any other race, you will be fit only to be a slave. But if you are a Jew you are fit for nothing.

  We cannot let Hitler and his henchmen win! It is up to us to do whatever we can to help the war effort. We may be students but that does not mean we are unable to help. We can buy war stamps and war bonds. We can collect scrap. We can write letters to the troops. We can have fundraising events. We urge everyone to help!

  In fact, Marcie told me that this week all the students from Aberdeen are collecting pots and pans and are going to a drop-off spot with them. She said it should be fun as long as it doesn’t rain or hail or thunder. Trust Marcie to always think of the worst thing that could happen!

  The Maple Leafs won the game tonight! There was lots of shouting from Daddy.

  April 20

  Horrible, horrible news from France. A thousand “Communists, Jews and sympath
izers” were deported to Eastern Europe from Paris, and 30 hostages were executed because a troop train with Nazis on it was blown up by the Resistance. They are going to force French citizens to ride the trains with the troops so the Resistance will stop blowing the trains up, but I hope the Resistance will keep fighting no matter what. Mommy showed me a map and explained that France is now split into two parts, occupied France and unoccupied France. But the Vichy government in unoccupied France is collaborating with the Germans, so it is dangerous everywhere in the country. And the French are giving more Jews to the Nazis than the Nazis even want, according to Uncle Nathaniel in his last letter. He’s become very discouraged. It’s mostly non-French-born Jews being deported — so far the French-born Jews are not — but he doesn’t know how long that will last.

  Then Auntie Adele called, all upset. Cousin Jenny has signed up! She’s joined the RCAF. Women won’t fly, but will work on the ground as mechanics and such. She’ll train at the university.

  April 25

  Back to ballet class today. Mrs. Roberts has announced our final presentation. It’ll be short pieces she has choreographed, all based on spring. She began teaching us today. I’m in a group with Millie and Janice. Janice is better than me, Millie is worse. Then met Elizabeth for a matinee at the Uptown. We haven’t been on very good terms, so when she asked if I felt like going I needed to say yes, or we’d be enemies instead of friends. I don’t even know if I want to be her friend anymore, but I’m not sure I want an all-out war either. We went to the drugstore for soda afterwards and all she talked about was who likes who at school. Well, I didn’t mind that. Naturally I’m interested — especially when one of the people she talked about was Paul! She’s convinced he likes me. Well, I definitely like him.

  Mommy cooked cabbage rolls for dinner tonight but I could hardly eat any because of all the popcorn and the sodas. All Mommy could talk about at dinner was the mosquito threat this summer. She’s very worried and has told me I need to wear long sleeves and no shorts. I refused! She says 300 people had encephalitis last summer and that she doesn’t want me to be one of them this year. Why does she have to worry about everything? The good news is there won’t be a shortage of the oil that they use to kill the mosquito eggs. Because of the flood and all the water they’re expecting a big “flight” by next week.

  April 28

  I forgot to write here about the conscription plebiscite that was held yesterday, but the results were announced today. A majority voted “yes,” and by a margin of 3 to 1, though there were a lot more yes votes in English Canada than in Quebec. Mommy had done lots of work for it with her Jewish groups. It means that Mr. King can make conscription the law any time he wants to or needs to during the war. But at the bottom of the paper in a little box was an article saying that Canada was cutting all diplomatic ties with the Vichy government. That is good on the one hand because it tells them that what they are doing is bad, but on the other hand Daddy worries that they won’t have any influence on the French now, and will that make it worse for Sarah’s family.

  May 1942

  May 1

  Lots of big news today. First, Mommy got a list from the government about what kind of packages she can send to Morris. It must arrive in Ottawa before the 15th and she has dropped everything else for the next few days to get it organized. We are advised to send no food because Ottawa will be sending food and a new uniform for each soldier. But we can send a sleeveless wool sweater, toothbrush and tooth powder, safety razor and blades, strong soap (Mommy says it must be yellow soap), shaving soap and insect powder. Just being able to do something has cheered Mommy up and she spent the day shopping, but not all day because we have guests.

  Mommy and Daddy’s friends from Vancouver, the Mishimas, arrived today in Winnipeg. They are being sent out to a farm to live and work. It takes them away from the coast and at least they don’t have to live in one of the camps for Japanese. So they are staying with us overnight. We listened to their story at dinner and I told them it sounded to me just like what was happening to Sarah’s family. Why are they being punished just because they’re Japanese? They are such nice people and they love Canada like mad. Mrs. Mishima cried a little and they were very tired and went to bed early. First thing in the morning they must be on a train that will take them out to a farm near Brandon.

  May 2

  It snowed today! Phooey!

  That did not deter Mommy, though. She shopped all day for Morris. I shivered mightily waiting for the streetcar downtown and my ballet class. It feels colder when you have snow in May than when it snows in December — I wonder why. Oh well, at least we don’t have to worry about mosquitoes yet!

  The TO’s got together today at the Met to see Babes on Broadway. The boys were very against it but Mollie and I insisted. I think the boys enjoyed it although they wouldn’t really admit as much. It was wonderful — even though I’ve seen it once before. Judy Garland simply has the best voice in the entire world and Mickey is so cute! And it was labeled adult but we were still allowed in because my mother sent a note. I mean, how could they label a Judy and Mickey movie adult! Besides, from seeing it before, I knew there was nothing too daring in it. Though I think that’s why the boys wanted to go — now they can boast they’ve been to an adult film.

  Joe sat right beside me and bought my popcorn! He is pretty cute, I guess. Black hair, blue eyes. And he told some funny jokes. I didn’t know he was funny.

  We went to the The Chocolate Shop after for hot chocolate and talked over our progress. We have received a good response to David’s handout. Two schools are allowing us to give it out in the north end and this week I need to take it to the schools around my house. I’ll do that this week after school. Or I’ll try. I have extra rehearsals for the ballet show, my homework and now this! Of course I ate too much popcorn and drank too much chocolate and had a miserable stomach ache tonight. I know I shouldn’t eat so much but I can never resist!

  Next week Fantasia is opening. We’ve decided to meet again and see the movie first.

  Daddy has joined a committee that deals with refugees and big Jewish problems in the world and now he’s out almost every night at meetings. Twice last week I was home on my own. Daddy has told me that Mr. Blair is the government person in charge of refugees. He says that Mr. Blair hates Jews and everyone knows it. Why do Canadians stand for it? Why does this man, Blair, hate us?

  May 9

  It’s been almost a week since I wrote here. I’ll try to get all caught up. The ballet rehearsals are going well. The schools agreed to let us give out our handouts, but it takes us forever to copy them out and so far we’ve just made enough for four schools in all. As well as each of us copying, I still need to do my other war work like my knitting. Then there was schoolwork, and a game of Nazis versus us after school with all the kids on the block, when I wasn’t at rehearsals. At recess we have a skipping marathon going as well. So you see, dear diary, I have been too tired at night to write. Today we saw Fantasia. What a show! I loved it. Joe sat beside me again and bought my popcorn again (yes, stomach ache) and told more funny jokes. He’s talking more and becoming more interesting.

  May 11

  Mommy sent off the package for Morris today. She waited so long now she’s worried it will be late arriving in Ottawa, so she sent it by special post. She kept collecting and knitting and adding until it was just perfect. We all added letters, of course, and finally Daddy forced her to send it!

  I finished One, Two, Buckle My Shoe. It’s the first Agatha Christie book I really didn’t like. It was all about politics and I never got to care much about the characters, because we never really got to know them. I’ve started the last one Daddy brought me, Hercule Poirot’s Christmas, and it’s already very thrilling. The English people in the book don’t take to foreigners. It’s dangerous perhaps to look at people that way as a group — the way some people look at Jews differently.

  May 14

  A flyer who went to Kelvin High is missing.
Big story in the paper today. Little time to write. Rehearsals for ballet every night this week. Show on Sat. afternoon.

  May 16

  I tripped and fell on stage!!

  What a disaster! I was in the middle of this very serious part where the small birds are trying to survive an attack by a big bird, and we are whirling around and around and suddenly my foot just flew out and I was sitting there on the floor on my tuchus and just looking around without an idea of what to do. Millie reached down and pulled me to my feet and then whirled me around a few times while Janice danced alone, taking the attention away from me. Daddy told me that no one even noticed, but Mommy wasn’t quite so kind. She laughed a little and said that failure is as good a teacher as success. Honestly! That may be true but it certainly didn’t make me feel any less a fool!

  We went to The White House for ribs afterwards though, and that took my mind off it for a while. But then I missed my brothers! It was their favourite place to eat. I’m going to sleep and hope that tomorrow will be a better day!

  May 18

  Letters today from Paris. Here’s Sarah’s.

  Chère Devorah,

  They have started to send people away in transports quite regularly now. Jews, of course. It is mostly the foreign Jews. People who came here to escape the Nazis in their home countries, or even people who came here twenty, thirty years ago. They are still considered foreign. Rachel and Papa argue almost every day now. She insists we must go into hiding. Papa thinks we are safer here because at least we have the proper papers and, not being foreign, we might be able to survive. I am torn, not knowing what is for the best.